The Vietnam War ended with the South Vietnamese
gaining freedom and independence. Two years after the treaty to cease fire was
signed, Operation Babylift was declared by President Ford. Many American
soldiers had left behind what was referred to as “national embarrassment”
American soldiers had “slept with the enemy” and fathered children with the
women of Vietnam, these children came to be known as Amerasians. It was feared
that the Communists threatened to kill both mother and child of this mixed race
referred to as the “national embarrassment.” President Ford made available over
two million dollars for the needs of over 2,000-3,000 children that would be
airlifted out of Vietnam to thwart a mass slaughter of the innocent. One of the
very first flights ended in disaster, filled beyond capacity crashed resulting
in more than 130 causalities. However rescue efforts continued relocating many
Amerasian children.
Although Operation
Babylift affected many, we will peer inside the life of one.
Daughter from
Danang
This poignant documentary reveals the confrontation of
the two cultures. An American soldier
and a Vietnamese woman, Mai Thi Kim abandoned by her husband yet striving to
survive agreed to a relationship of convenience and need. From this liaison was
the conception of Mai Thi Heip also known as Heidi Bub, one of more than 2,000
Amerasian children sent to America to escape death. As Kim placed Heidi on a
plane in a place of what she thought was security, she had no idea of what lie
ahead for many years to come. Twenty two years would elapse before the two
would embrace again. However, Kim’s life would forever be changed.
She and her children would face the ridicule and scorn for Kim’s indiscretion.
Once in America Heidi was adopted by a single woman, Ann Neville. Ann was a dean at Pulaski’s Martin Methodist College. Heidi “was baptized into the United Methodist Church, where she attended services, Sunday school and United Methodist Youth Fellowship meetings.” Ann provided many material things for Heidi, taking her on great trips to various places yet Heidi’s heart still longed for more, “I had everything growing up. I just didn’t have a very loving parent.” Ann sought hard to “Americanize” Heidi and often warned her to keep it her Vietnamese lineage a secret.
Follow link to view an excerpt from the town of
Pulaski Tennessee and insight into Heidi’s adoptive family.
As Heidi grew up her relationship with Ann suffered as
Heidi sought the independence of a maturing young adult. Ann enforcing her domineering authority kicked
Heidi out of the house. Heidi was distraught by this. Ann further tormented Heidi by cutting off
relationship and denying she even had a daughter.
After some time Heidi was encouraged by a friend to find
her birth mother. Little did she know her mother had also been looking for her?
The Holt Adoption Agency would be the catalyst that would merge the two. Soon
Heidi would be on a plane destined for Vietnam, anxiously waiting to reunite
with her family after 22 years of separation. Heidi is engulfed in a state of
naivety that will soon come crashing down around her. “It’s gonna’ be so
healing for both of us to see each other. It’s gonna’ make all of those bad
memories go away. And all those last year’s not matter anymore.” Unbeknownst to
Heidi the reunion that her mind envisioned and heart sought so deeply would
yield more pain and devastation than she could ever have imagined.
One of the major challenges Heidi faced was the dreadful
clash between the two cultures she embraced. Heidi is overwhelmed by the open
and often displays of affection.
“I grew up not
having a bunch of affection and touching but here
all my relatives they just
have to touch me.”
Heidi’s Vietnamese family revered her as their savior of
sorts rescuing them from the poverty they faced. Without hesitation her sister,
Hien expressed her financial need and asked for help. Heidi’s brothers, Tinh informed her and
vehemently heaped the obligation of financial responsibility of caring for
their aging mother or possibly even take Kim to the U.S. to live near her. They
considered this the Vietnamese way and since she had been gone for so long they
welcomed the opportunity for Heidi to step up and take over. Heidi’s hopes,
dreams and anticipation of family love and restoration collided with her
families aggressive demands of financial support. In some ways it seemed as if
Heidi thought she would return as the baby of the family and fit right in where
she’d left off yet she experienced the devastation of unrealistic expectations
and tremendous culture shock.
Heidi enjoys her first Vietnamese meal.
She learns
that you don’t serve yourself you just take a little bit.
Vietnam lacked many of the modern conveniences Heidi had
grown accustomed to as evidenced during her visit with her mother during their
to purchase food. Heidi also observed her mother wash laundry outside in a
basin with a bar of soap dishes were also washed outside in basin as well.
Heidi ponders on the differences in cultures as she is now a college graduate
yet her sisters didn't even finish sixth grade. Heidi continues to reflect on
the vast differences in cultures and standards of living,“A shower consists of
having a bucket of water poured over you I really don’t know if I could survive
here having the luxuries that I do.”
Heidi found the
realities of her Vietnamese family far too difficult to handle and returned
home to her husband and children deciding not to continue her relationship with
her family and avoided further communication in the pursuit of getting
reacquainted with her Vietnamese family.
Further Reading
Where are they now?
Sunday, July 29, 2012 ABC2’s Sunday Best documentary
reported both Heidi and her Vietnamese family are fine but have suffered with
various struggles of life. Heidi has chosen not to keep in touch with her
Vietnamese family because it is so painful. http://blogs.abc.net.au/abc_tv2012/07/sunday-best-daughter-from-danang-where-are-they-now.html
References
Heidi’s own Account: Adoptee’s
Reunion with Birthfamily in Vietnam Read Heidi’s own account of some of the
events in her life. http://www.adopting.org/Heidi.html
Vietnam War babies: grown up and low on luck (stories of
other AmerAsian children) http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/asia-pacific/vietnam/110901/vietnam-war-babies-US-visa-GIs-troops
Photos of Heidi as a young girl and Heidi’s Vietnamese
Family: http://movies.zap2it.com/movies/daughter-from-danang/photo-gallery-detail/76281/6364?aid=zap2it
Operation Babylift Photo:
http://www.dia.mil/history/features/operation-babylift/
Heidi eating Photo:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/daughter/peopleevents/p_heidi.html
This was by far the most interesting post I have read. It seems like Heidi was let down many times throughout her life. Her mother did something with the hopes to save her. Yet, Ann ended up disowning her, and her immediate family just wanted her financial assistance. It must have been hard for Heidi to never be truly accepted by her own family. This made me actually think about the bible, and how God accepts everyone.
ReplyDeleteHere is a link to some useful bible verses on how the Lord accepts all no matter what. http://www.openbible.info/topics/acceptance
It is hard to see these individuals go through life with so many things that happen to them that are beyond their control. A relationship with God would certainly have helped.
Thank you Amber, I do agree Heidi faced some very difficult situations. At one point in the movie Heidi seems to bury the pain rather than talk to her husband. I couldn't help but wonder how harmful this could be in the long run. She really does need to walk closely with the Lord.
DeleteIt was really hard for me to watch this film. On one hand, both Heidi and her family are from two totally different cultures so it's hard to completely understand the cultural views on money. But as an American, I can completely understand where Heidi was coming from. How hard would it be to visit your family that you haven't seen for 22 years and they hound you for money and support. All she wanted to do was meet everyone but to them, it was about money. It was really hard to have sympathy and understanding for Heidi's family.
ReplyDeleteThis was really difficult because they seemed only willing to accept their culture rather than try to understand how she had spent the last twenty-two years. They were only willing to embrace the Vietnamese side of Heidi.
DeleteI can definitely understand why Heidi was so upset. I'm sure she felt like they just wanted to use her for her money which made it appear as if they didn't really care about her - they just cared about her money.
DeleteAt the same time, I can kind of understand the family's point of view as well. When the sister and brother asked for her financial help, they had absolutely no idea that this would be considered insulting. In their culture, this was an absolutely normal thing to do. They were not warned of the differences, so they did not know any better. The language barrier also made things much harder since it was difficult for Heidi to communicate her feelings clearly to her family and vice versa. Her family was completely unaware that they were offending Heidi until she burst out crying. This then put them on the defensive. I feel if she would have been able to communicate early on how their requests made her feel, then things could have turned out better.
In the end, I think what hurt them the most was the communication barrier. I also feel it would've been better if both sides would have been more prepared and knowledgeable about each other's cultures.
-Nicole Eshelman
It was really hard for me to watch the reunion between Heidi and her family. She had grown up in such a privileged life and it was hard to imagine having to live without modern conveniences in Vietnam. It was also hard for me to see the reception to her meeting with her family. She was expecting to be the baby of the family and just walk in and be accepted. Instead, she was accepted with the expectation that she would provide financially for her family and care for her mother. I cannot imagine the disappointment that she faced, let alone the anger at this conditional love.
ReplyDeleteIt was also hard to hear Kim say that she was willing to back to the U.S. with Heidi. I kept thinking how could you just pack up and go first of all you weren't asked to go and secondly Heidi is really a stranger at this point. For the past twenty-two years they had been separated and lived totally different lives. There was just so much to learn about each other.
DeleteThis movie was difficult to watch I sympathized for Hedi because all she was ever looking for was real affection to fill a void that was missing. At first she had found it but then it was over taken by her family's greed. It hurt me to watch how they expected her to be their financial savior right off the back as if this was her main purpose in life. I understand as Christians we shouldn't turn down those in need especially if they are our family. However, I believe that changes when they are only showing you love based on certain conditions. I don't blame her for leaving I actually applaud her for being able to recognize the situation and getting out of it and going back to her husband and children, the ones that truly matter now.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great point. As Christians we are supposed to care for the needy. Even non Christians have morals about caring for those in need, but this doesn't mean we should be taken advantage of. Hedi's family expected her to be the financial provider and this was in a way very selfish of them. If I were Hedi I would have been really hurt by my family for that being all that they wanted me for. I think she did the right thing by returning to her husband and children because they wanted her for more than her money. I wish her other family would have just accepted and loved her despite her finances because that is what families should do and that is what Hedi was looking for.
DeleteI really like this definition of family because is says that they have long term commitments to each other. Now take that any way you want but I see that as families are committed to one another no matter what. They are always there for each other in any circumstance.
fam·i·ly (fm-l, fml)
n. pl. fam·i·lies
b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/family
I really enjoyed reading everyone's perspectives in this blog-we all are hitting on very good points. At the core of our discussion here, I think we can all agree that Heidi's life experience was rife with hurt, confusion, and disappointment. I am also of the opinion that culture is shaped by the elements of community and family. If Heidi were exposed to (and allowed to embrace) her Vietnamese culture after landing on American soil, I'm sure that her life would have yielded much different outcomes.
DeleteI wholeheartedly agree.
Delete-Bernadette McCullough
I found this story to be quite heart-wrenching and difficult to watch. Although "Operation Babylift" was intended to be a great rescue mission (by the U.S.)at the end of the war, it further traumatized the Vietnamese children that were ripped from their mother's embrace and dropped into a culture that was totally foreign to them. Besides the obvious culture shock, I'm sure that many of them (like Heidi) were mistreated and never got the opportunity to be loved and nurtured in a safe family environment.
ReplyDeleteOne of the thing things that really hurt me was Heidi's adoptive mother Ann wanted Heidi to totally disregard her heritage. After finding out she was a dean of a college I was even more shocked I expected Ann to be more open mimnded.
DeleteUnfortunately, I saw this train wreck coming as soon as Heidi embraced her birth mother after arriving in Vietnam. Her mother was so emotional, too emotional for Heidi. I could almost feel the wall going up immediately. Heidi's expectations were not very realistic, and the let down was overwhelming for her. I also felt that the family, at certain moments, played to the camera. I felt that they used the opportunity to further their economic situation. I don't know if I would not have done the same thing in their circumstances. Heidi certainly did not expect to be thrust into the position of family matriarch (as far as finances were concerned). I felt sorry for Heidi and expected her to call off the filming, she almost did while the family presented their case for her to support their mother. I have a very close cousin that was adopted. We were hurt when she decided to seek out her birth mother. But, the same kind of scenario happened where expectations, after 30 years, were not met. She discovered the reason she was put up for adoption, and most (not all) stories aren't happy ones.
ReplyDeleteJohn Sudar
I felt Heidi's Vietnamese family's tactics were indeed manipulative. And to say this is the "place where your placenta buried" was a ploy to make her feel guilty and a sense of allegiance that simply was not there.
DeleteIf you believe what was said in the movie and what the director had to say, this kind of culture is common in Vietnam. I think this fact was lost in translation. Also, Heidi could have reacted to the question with a lot less drama, but I understand she was really agitated with her situation even before she was asked that question. Finally, does anyone know the currency conversion rate from 2002?? It is safe to assume that $20 would have gone a long way to help them. If she were ever to donate to a church again in her life, ever to drop a few quarters in the Salvation Army pot during Christmas, she should think of that family.
DeleteI'm not implying that she should completely embrace her birth mother and financially support the entire family; that would be unreasonable. What I am saying is that she could have had a fun pen-pal, kept in loose contact (at least) and slip the occasional $20. She made it sound like she would have to get a second job to support them!
-aldixon1
I think what Heidi wanted more than anything was love, her adoptive mother wanted her to be 101% American and deny her heritage and her biological family wanted money and they also wanted her to embrace traditions that were unknown. All of the Vietnamese customs were unfamiliar to Heidi, having been gone for twenty-two years just because her family says this is how it is done here doesn’t mean that she can embrace what she has not been a part of, I think their expectations were a bit unrealistic.
Delete-Bernadette McCullough
Culture is what we make it. If we're open and embracing it, it can be a positive and world-changing thing. However, if we're clueless and offended by a culture, we can turn away quickly from other ways of thinking. In this short video, we see culture explained as being what we make of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57KW6RO8Rcs
ReplyDeleteThe fact that Heidi didn't grow up knowing anything about her heritage really ended up hurting her when it came to meeting her biological family for the first time. First of all, she wasn't used to families being that affectionate toward one another. When she saw her mom for the first time, they didn't stop hugging and her mom didn't stop kissing her for a long time. Heidi grew up with a mom who wasn't affectionate and ultimately ended up kicking her out of her home.
Another part of the culture that Heidi wasn't used to was their openness in talking about money. In America, when someone gets older, they are usually put in a nursing home. However, in Vietnam, you take care of your elders and provide for them in any way that you can. Since Heidi's brothers and sisters had already taken care of their mom, they wanted Heidi to send over some money to take care of her. They thought it would almost make up for lost time.
Personally, I was quite surprised that Heidi decided not to talk with her family anymore. I realize she was hurt because of the culture shock, but I think losing her the second time was probably worse than losing her the first time.
-Monica Clevenger
Heidi states at the end of the movie that she feels bad about how she handled things she says "the door is closed but not locked." In my heart I really wanted to see her try harder also.
Delete-Bernadette McCullough
I had never heard of Operation Babylift prior to watching Daughter from Danang. I understand the reason behind the operation, but I have mixed feelings. I don't think anyone knows for sure what would have happened to the Amerasian children if they were allowed to stay with their mother's. The approximately 130 that perished in the plane crash might still be alive.
ReplyDeleteI felt sorry for both Heidi and her birth family because neither understood the culture of the other. Heidi went to Vietnam to become reacquainted with her birth family and it seems that she felt more like a meal ticket. In America, we think that it is uncouth to ask for money and if it is given to ask for more. The Vietnamese culture feel that if another member of the family is doing well, they are supposed to help. Americans will help their family members, but we are not expected to support them.
It was mentioned that Heidi's adopted mother wasn't affectionate, but she was taken aback when her birth mother was giving her affection. I understand the need for space, but she was only there for a short period of time and she could have been accommodating. You could tell that the family was close and it is sad that their reunion didn't turn out better.
Katrina Dix
Like others, I had never heard of Operation Babylift. I wonder how much this operation was publicized. It definitely didn't show up in the textbooks when I was in school years ago. The vivid and emotional images of the mothers giving up their children were quite tragic. I can't imagine how they would feel, knowing that their children would be raised in another country. But then again, this would be no different than mothers in other countries that give their children up for adoption.
ReplyDeleteThis was the movie that I most intimately connected with. This was because I was adopted as a baby and could understand some of her thought processes and feelings she had. I too have met and tried to maintain a relationship with my biological mother. At first she wanted to just look at me and hold my hand and hug me which was very uncomfortable for me. It wasn't that my parents weren't affectionate, it is just weird when the stranger that bore you, but walked away for whatever reason, has all of these feelings of love for you, but you don't feel anything. I can only imagine how tough this felt to Heidi; she was in a foreign land, hearing a foreign language, and basically living in a third world country with foreign customs to her. I was absolutely amazed that her birth family thought that just because she was from the US that she was made or money or would feel it was her responsibility to financially support them. This is an example of the cultural difference between the Asian traditions versus the US traditions. Asians are very community based and it is expected that children support their elders, whereas Americans in general are more individualistic and independent in nature. My jaw dropped when I saw the continued push for money during the first visit! I wasn't surprised at Heidi's reaction. I found that this movie was very though-provoking and easy for me to connect and understand some of her emotions and thoughts.
Thanks for sharing your story I think your willingness to be open gives all of us a greater perspective. Not only was she expected to embrace then but the family shrine as well. I could imagine the uncomfortability intensifies when she was expected to participate fully with things that are so unfamiliar.
Delete-Bernadette McCullough
Like John, I had a hunch something like this was ultimately coming. From the time Heidi's mother saw her, she clung to Heidi. As emotional as her mother was, Heidi was not. Although she was very happy to be reunited, her emotions were far more subdued than that of the rest of her family. You could see the two drastically different cultures colliding at every turn in this reunion. Heidi was getting smothered by her mother and siblings. Because she had been Americanized, Heidi was much different from her family now. To some extent I would have to think Heidi's mother should have expected something like this might happen. There was no guarantee the reunion would be all flowers and sunshine. We see the culmination of this in the breakdown Heidi has when burdened with the money responsibility. Another glaring issue I saw in this movie was the refusal of Heidi to be accepting of her Vietnamese culture. Did she not realize the way things were? Could she not appreciate their way of doing things? Was there no research done before she left so she knew what she was getting in to? These are things I asked myself during the film. I also think there is a correlation between when Heidi left as a child and when she returned as an adult. Some of the feelings she was sharing upon her arrival in Danang I thought were probably similar to the feelings she had when she first arrived in America. She was able to adapt and survive in America as a child, so why not now as an adult in Danang? I think that is the problem with many American people, their refusal to accept other cultures and their reliance on luxuries we are so spoiled with here in America. Had she not lived in America, this way of life would have been normal to her. However, because she had been Americanized, she didn't think she could survive the Danang culture.
ReplyDeleteI agree some reseaarch should have been done. The expectations would probably have been less shocking.
Delete- Bernadette McCullough
I also found it very interesting that it seemed like Heidi did not know what to expect when she arrived there. I feel like she should have been a little more educated on what things were like. It was definitely a culture shock for her and that was evident to see. It was also interesting how Heidi's emotions were so drastically different from her mother ans sibling's. The youtube link provided above was really cool. It would have been hard to not be able to tell anyone where you came from because of the KKK and other things that were going on in that time period. I also think that its very interesting to think about how southern Heidi is. It just shows that sometimes where you come from doesnt have too much of an affect on the person you turn out to be; it matters how you are raised.
ReplyDeleteI watched the movie yesterday and I understand the shock Heidi experienced in Vietnam. However she needs to relativise this. I recommend that Heidi reads more literature about Asian culture and she will better understand why before her departure in US, her siblings asked her to financially contribute to her mother. Growing up in Europe and in US, people gets more independent and there is no need to care about their parents. In Asia, the kids is a kind of pension fund for the parents. When Heidi's brother asked her to financially support her mum (and not her siblings in Vietnam), it was a real shock for Heidi. However, she shall not forget that her siblings do the same and they can do not complain. Heidi can pretend that her mum look after them and this is normal that they look after her. She did not grown up in Vietnam and therefore could forget this financial obligation. This is a wrong statement. All the parents do love their children and her mum was forced to send her in the US, due to the fact that kids born from an American father was discriminated. I can imagine that Heidi's life will be much painful if she had to grown up in Vietnam. Her mum wanted the best for her as all the Asian mum. Heidi should not have refused to contribute financially to her family in Vietnam. However, she needs to put a limit for the financial contribution she can give, because some Vietnamese people do live in a very poor condition, and do not understand that life in Western can also be hard. Heidi was a too sensitive person and still do not understand the Asian culture. The money is not going in one way in Asia. Even though your parents have enough money to survive in Asia, the fact that you give money to your parents is a kind of proof that you care about them. Anyway, you also receive it back from your parents unless they are in a very miserable condition. I grown up in Europe and live there for more that 35 years. I have the chance that I received an Asian education and therefore could see the differences between both cultures.
ReplyDeleteFor someone who mentioned multiple times that she was blessed to receive a college education, she was surprisingly uneducated about Vietnam and seemed extremely confused going there.
ReplyDeleteI was annoyed throughout the film with Heidi's ignorance and selfishness that cannot be purely accounted for with "culture shock". I am sure even $20 a month would greatly help out her siblings and mother. She caused so much grief for her mother. My heart goes out to Heidi's mother, I hope she is okay now.
ReplyDeleteWow. It is a very helpful topic for me .And I would like to bookmark the page so that I can come here again for you to read. Do American citizen need visa for Turkey ? Yes , of course all the American Citizens need a visa to visit . Because the USA is not included in the list of those countries which do not require a visa permit to visit Turkey.
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